Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
