just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
