If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
