This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
