I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
