That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm drive I can fine osifer
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
