Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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