Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize