Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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