They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
