How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
