I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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