I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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