i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
