I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize