wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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