I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
