she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
