Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
