you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Its about making memories worth repressing
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
