Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
