I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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