apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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