it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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