Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
