When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
