He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
