ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If that was your dad, he is hot
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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