just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
