I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
