great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
