We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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