just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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