i think i have two assholes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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