Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I need water and some morals
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
