i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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