I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
