i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
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I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize