we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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