i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize