she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize