last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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