i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
