OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
