Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
