No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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