so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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