the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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