i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I need moral support for this bender
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
