I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
