first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize