I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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