Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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