Apparently you make a good broom.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
