And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
