Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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