WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
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It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
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I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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